oh god the rape fog is back!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize