I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
