i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
third nipple confirmed
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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