have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize