I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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