that's an acceptable place to lick
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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