i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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