my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Couch. On fire.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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