you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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