But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
