The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize