I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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