I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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