I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
