he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
