Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Houston, we have a blender
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
