i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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