Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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