Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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