i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
