: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
