champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
