conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
