I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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