I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
