Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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