hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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