Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
