she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
