You're a womanizer and a bitch.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
