You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
