We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
is it fun? or sober?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
