Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
