i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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