I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
