I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
