i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize