Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
