Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Randomize
