I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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