OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize