Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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