"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
