We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
