I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
