just tell him i said nine months
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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