But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
