And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
