Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
