He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
