She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
