so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
