:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
