Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize