ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
