Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
