I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Operation Purity has been aborted
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
