i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
