And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
