Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
