You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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