One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I understand Curling. That high.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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